Nothing important, or maybe the most important thing in my life

Hi yall! I really have nothing important to say, just thought I needed to post something since Lauren was giving 'me/us' a hard time. :)

So, I guess you could say that God is working on me. Or should I say molding me. I've been having a deep desire to change into the wife/mother/woman that I should be, that I'm called to be. I have always been the type of person that thought - "when I get there, I'll be good at it." Does that make since? Like when I was a teenager thinking about being an adult, I thought my faith/walk would just click and I would be the 'perfect christian,' when I was single I thought once I got married I would be the 'perfect wife,' and before children I thought I would be, of course, the 'perfect mother.'

What a sinful way to live! I was basically saying to myself that I didn't need to do anything to become the person God desires for me to be, it would just work out that way. I would not need to spend hours digging into the Word to teach me how to be all of those things, I would not need to spend hours on my knees opening my soul to our Father, I would not need to make major sacrifices in my life to shed my human shell. Oh, how I just robbed myself dry.

Back in March God began wooing me to the person of Him. He began to create a spirit that would be mailable and pliable to His ways. To change the way I live my whole life. To change me. And that He is doing. I have been studying the book of Titus, I mean, I read it probably 3 to 4 times a day, the whole book and know that is how I want to live my life. I want to be "self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, submissive to their own husbands... to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy to everyone." Titus 2:5, 3:1-2.

I fight myself on a minute by minute basis sometimes, but fighting myself is so much better then just giving into myself and not caring. I like where I'm at right now, drinking in my fill everyday. I look forward to where I will be because I have worked to get there. I have fought. I have given things up. I have surrendered. I have opened my hand and said, "its yours God, I'm yours."

Thank you God for patiently standing by and knocking at my door. Sorry it took me so long to answer. I knew you were there, I just hid behind the curtains and hoped you would not hear me, but you did and kept knocking. Thank you.