Thoughts to Corpus and Dallas...

Hi Amanda! Miss you, girl! Come home and work out with me on Friday!!

There has been so much discussion on community and sharing. I have TRIED to do "life" with other small groups and friends at other churchs and I know what has worked for me and what hasn't worked and why. As a starting point, it is spending time together as a group of believers. Time and Believers being the key words.

Time is important because just as friendships develop - you just need time under your belt to let the Holy Spirit work. Time to go to the movies together, break bread, drink coffee, jam out at concerts, gather and pray together, be silly and play games, pet dogs, giggle with babies, work out together (agh!), cry for each other, read scripture and talk theology together, let people perhaps rub us the wrong way at first - then time lets us appreciate them for who they are and the unique view they bring to the table. Time is important because as the Holy Spirit leads us (to Amy's point) to share our deepest issues, our sins, our joys and blessings we feel like we've had the trust and love of the group to do that. I was part of a small group that felt that WHAM BAM we were all instant friends. No time was allowed to build, no grass under our feet could gather. It was hard. We tried hard once a week but then all went our separate way in the end! It is also key to note that it isn't just TIME - it is time together. Wednesdays together, calls to each other, dinners, lunchs or sitting in the sauna at LA Fitness pretending to work out on a Friday afternoon (forgot my shoes..lol).

Being BELIEVERS is what makes it "community" rather than just a group telling each other intimate secrets and going to the movies. We learn, as followers of Christ, from each other how to encourage each other, reminding each other to run the race, endure hardships, be in prayer for each other to ask God for guidance and hope, not to judge, hold each accountible, love and care deeply. In fact, it is what makes community DEEP.

I'm so very happy to know you, Amanda. I hate that you are in a valley. Hate it! You don't need to feel pressure to share everything with everyone but let us all surround you with love and encouragement anyway. I'm so happy to be getting to know everyone in our group. You are all authentic. I know that God brought this group together.

"When I cannot understand my Father's leading,
And it seems to be but a hard and cruel fate,
Still I hear that gentle whisper ever pleading,
God is working, God is faithful, ONLY WAIT."

Corpus Thoughts...

Hey there-I certainly do not have all the answers to your questions and thoughts, but they are really good to think of. I think that even Jesus had a community that he was committed to-the 12 disciples, but then he had an even closer group of fellows the 3 disciples he hang with most often, that he was even more intimate with.
I really think that if you live in obedience to what the Lord is asking you to do in your individual situation , He will reveal rather the issues you are going through need to be shared with a few or with the group. I think that it is when you are being lead to share with folks-and fear keeps you from doing so-that you are not living in obedience with community. Matt preached a GREAT sermon on community this weekend. Be sure to download it when you can-or let me know if you need to to burn it for you and you can take a listen. It was REALLY good.
I Love you Amanda and I will pray for you while you are in the desert. Do not feel you have to share, but know that I am here if you want to. In the meantime, I will be on my knees for you!

Community means...?

Hi y'all. I have to be honest...I've been having a terrible time with these threads. I'm just not sure how I feel here. I need a little help understanding what the word "community" means. I mean...I know the obvious meanings, but when it comes to not being ok or whatever...letting the people you walk with know that you're not ok is one thing...but am I correct in my understanding that in order to be walking in obedience with regard to community, we share our hardships with everyone...will a choice few not do? I guess I'm just confused here. I'm personally going through one of the toughest times I've ever faced, and I've shared the details of that with a couple of people...in and outside our group, but all strong women, walking with the Lord. Is that not good enough? I want so badly to walk with everyone but isn't it hard to be completely transparent with more than just a few people? I mean...truly let someone know your ins and outs and you know theirs. It seems that if the number of people we do that with grows, or is more than a few, it'd be harder to be all you all the time. And it's not that I don't want it to be our group that I personally share me with...but when the desert is at its driest, mustering up the emotional energy to share anything with one person seems to be all I have, much less sharing it with everyone. I'm not sure any of this makes any sense at all...just thoughts I suppose. And...I just miss you guys as I'm sitting out here by the water in Corpus Christi and wanted to say hello. :)) So...please, someone 'splain this to me so I can quit trying to hard to figure this one out. I love all you guys so much.

Am I ok or not???

Lauren and Sherah-
I think the difference is that when you KNOW something is bothering you, or KNOW you need pray for something that is going wrong in your heart and DON'T say anything-you are being disobedient to the idea of community. I think that is true beauty of community, once we REALLY get to know each other, we can loving call people out on things when they themselves do not even know there is anything going on in their hearts.
There are all kinds of people in this world0I happen to be one of those people that sit around and ponder why I think this or that or why I choose this over that. That is not what other people do. They live life and don't stop to think about why-until they are faced with a major decision. I ponder EVERYTHING I think and do-it is exhausting really. I think God wired me the way he did and he wired other people differently. There is not one way to live that is more right-just different. So-as long as you are being open to what The Lord is laying on your heart to share and what HE is trying to teach you-I think you are good!

Does that make sense-or do you think I am totally off base?

I'm there too... I think

Lauren, I think I am there too. I don't always know what I am feeling or should be feeling. I usually feel like everything is just fine, but sometimes its not and sometimes I don't know how to act. I am not a highly emotional person and have just always been really good at pushing my feelings under the rug. I desire to be open and share who I am with you all, but at times I feel like I don't even know who that is. I have never been truly vulnerable to anyone except Kyle and I don't really know what that looks like for me. But as we continue to share our stories and I know each of you a little more I feel a little safer and more like I can open up... even though I still don't really know what it is that I am opening up.

Sorry... I feel like I was just rambling.

And It Continues...

So what do you do when you don't even feel close to yourself? When you don't even know the deep stuff to share, or ask? Or is that, by nature, being deep? I think this is where I am...

To be OK or not to be OK

I think I understand what Christi is asking and it is something that I struggle with as well. I think that we all have a responsibility to be have ownership in our community. We have to be willing to say when we are not OK and we have to be willing to let people not be OK. However, I think that Kristyn is right that hearing each other's stories is an important part of this journey and until we have the framework that we need for each other's lives, it will be harder to feel like we really know each other. So-we have to patient through this process until we can all feel like we have shared each Wednesday night.

Also, we each have to make choice-am I going to choose to let people now ME or the version of me, I want to be? In trying to think what parts of my story are worth sharing, I find myself tempted to hider certain facts to paint a picture of myself that is not 100% truth. If I choose to do that, I am only robbing myself. Because it is ONLY in being 100% transparent that we feel loved in spite of ourselves.

Something I learned a long time ago was this-when I feel like I don't have close friends-I have to ask myself two questions--1. What I have shared with someone that makes them feel like they know something more about me than we first sat down, and 2. What did question did I ask to help me learn something about the person I am talking to. When there has been a sharing of information by two people, it usually relates to a feeling of closeness.....

Amy F. (Amy Dawn)

...OK not to be OK..cont.

Christi.. I think your question is good, though I don't think I understand it completely. I think I'm just short on vision for what that looks like. I am so thankful, though, that you as our leader are desiring more for us. It makes me feel more than cared about...but cared for.
I will say, I don't think we need to get down on ourselves this early in the game. Its going to take time for us to get comfortable enough to get there. Story sharing is so great and vital for us to get to know each other well, but it does take away from group discussion time. I don't want to rush through this very important time of building a framework for ourselves, but I am looking forward to when we have time to dig into the word together and work through heart issues.
Just my thoughts...

So is it really Okay to Not be okay ...

Tonight was great. Thanks so much ladies. My heart is aching though at one level because there STILL was not time enough to hear from everyone ... and I am just wondering how some are that we didn't hear from ...
And in that thought I am wondering if we are REALLY communicating ... if we are really BELIEVING for OURSELVES ... that it is okay to come to group, NOT be okay, and COMMUNICATE we are not okay. And on the other side, come to group, not be okay, and NOT communicate that we are not okay ... just be quiet and kind of keep that to ourselves. ... just random thoughts ...
And since I am new to this blogging thing, thoughts I thought I would share.
It was interesting because as I was driving home tonight the Lord said so specifically to me "You can't FIX 'this'" ... I just have to TRUST ... I have to Trust Jesus that HE will cover my heart, and cover your hearts ... Trust that HE meets MY needs, and trust that HE meets YOUR needs.
And He does.

What stirs my heart for God...?

Thank you so much, Amy, for starting this blog entry. I've so enjoyed your post and the responses. :) I have to say, when Matt mentioned this particular subject the other day...my heart had an immediate reaction. Several things came to mind...

Robs:

- Hyper self-awareness....i.e., my own selfishness.
- T.V. and the computer (blogging right this second doesn't count!:))
- My need to control everything
- Worry and doubt
- Being judgmental

Stirs:

- immense displays of God's grandeur in nature...literally sitting at the edge of a 2000 ft. cliff, no fence or rail...just me and God, in a National Park in Utah. The scene was even better than any artist's depiction of it could ever be...and then feeling smaller than the tip of a needle, in comparison to it all.

- Deep loss has stirred my affections for the Lord. Just knowing He is holding me up when I truly can't physically stand...talk about a deep sense of comfort and love, even in the deepest of trenches.

- true friendship. Knowing and being known. The risk AND the comfort in that.

- the love my mom has for me. So sweet and truly inspiring...

- That perfect day you're certain God made just for you...everything is ultra bright and beautiful. The breeze is perfect. The sun is out and warms your skin just right. Ahh...perfect days!

- Music. Not just any music though. The kind of music that catches you in a moment that maybe you weren't even aware you were in. Like, when you're in church and you've got something on your heart, good or bad, and maybe you can't quite describe what. Right at that moment they play that one song with just the right words, just the right melody...and all you can do is lift your hands and sing with Him or sit down to cry and pray with Him. It's like God saying right into your ear, here I am...don't worry...I was here with you the whole time....


So...there's some of mine. Thank you so much, to Mandy, for putting this super fun, completely foreign means of communication and sharing together. :) What a neat way to open up to each other. Also...I'm not really sure how to end a blog. Do you say g'bye, have a good day...what? Ahh...umm, I'll just say...love you guys! :)

Stirring and Robbing

Great question, Amy! I think that is a question we often neglect because some of those things on the 'robbing' list are things we don't always want to give up. I can definitely identify with a couple of things you guys mentioned like the desire to please others robbing and being stirred by noticing those things that fall in to place and realizing that God was in control.


Robbing:

• Technology (Internet, email, TV)
• Worry and stress
• Fear (which really ties in to the worry and stress)
• Busyness

Stirring:

• Good music
• Good teaching
• Conversations with friends just like this one
• Sunsets and beautiful weather

Blogging 101

I've had several people mention that they are new to the blogging scene and don't really know what to write about. I'm no expert on the subject, but here are a few ideas you could write about:

• Your opinion on any given subject
• Random thoughts or feelings you might have
• Questions you want to throw out for the group (excellent example is Amy's post)
• Something that inspired you (book, song, event, etc.)
• What God is doing in your life that you would like to share

This is just a short list, but really, anything goes in a blog. There's no particular format or anything - just go for it. For more excellent examples check out some of "The Village People" links - there are some really great, thought provoking, honest examples on those pages.

Stirring and Robbing...

Amy-That was great food for thought! Thanks for being so honest! My list would be:

Thinks that stir my heart for the Lord:

• Following Italo's leadership-I have to die to myself each day to make this happen-but when I do-it is so sweet!
• Annabelle - Her innocence and amazement at the world is amazing! And NOTHING beats her kisses
• Cold Days-they energize me to get out in the wind
• I echo Amy-I love architecture-especially if you drive along LakeShore Drive in Chicago. If you look on one side of the car (or bus in my case), there are beautiful buildings with history that would amaze you. On the other side, there is a beautiful lake as far as you can see. Each morning that I took the bus to work, I love to see the point where God's hands meet man's hands!
• Conversations that open my eyes to a new understanding of God-I had several great ones with my Brother and Kimberly this weekend!

Thinks that rob me:

• The TV
• The desire to please those around me-constantly interferes with my desire to please God
• Jealousy

Stirring and robbing your affection for Christ

I loved thinking about what I hold (or held) "ultimate" in my life that defined my view of what is "behind" humanity. I also liked meditating on what stirs my affection for Christ and what I know robs my affection for Christ. Here is my MINI list. What is your list?

Stirring: Big cities and how really beautiful and orderly they are, revelation about Christ's character through reading Piper and other authors, when things just happen to work together and I notice it, really sunny days, wide open spaces like out at my mom's house, leaning on God every day to not smoke (it works!), the grace my sister shows to me stirs my heart to thank Christ and realize that His grace and mercy is new every day. Lastly, flying in an airplane. Really makes me feel close to God, I talk to him and thank him over and over while staring at his beauty.

Robbing: being overly passionate about my job and neglecting my body and myself, smoking, big storms because they make me fearful which robs me of my trust in God who controls the storm, when I let my emotions make decisions for me, TV and mindless internet searching...to name a few.

What about you?

Caden's Fun Run

Hey there home groupies! I just wanted to share some pics from this weekend's Fun Run for Caden. We had several from our home group and our 'sister' home group volunteer to run and man the Toddler Play Area. We had a great time hanging out and playing.

Mr. Caden visiting our play area

Nathalie running a lap

The toddler-less Toddler Play Area

Some of the home group ladies

Nice influence for the kiddos!

Hanging out before the big run

Katie and Lauren entertaining the kiddos

Nathalie and Katie hugging it out

Katie showing off some dance moves

The Name

When we met on Wednesday and talked about what we hoped would happen in our smaller home group, one of the biggest themes was a desire for authentic, God-centered community all week long - not just on Wednesdays. It was that desire that birthed "Everyday Wednesday."